The Dating Guru - Reviewed by Cosmopolitan magazine 
Cosmopolitan Australia's no. 1 women's lifestyle magazine.
Lauren Smelcher dukes it out with Alex Nova
Ever wanted to quiz a dating 'guru'? To celebrate the launch of the romantic comedy Definitely, Maybe on DVD, Cosmo asked Melbourne dating guru Alex Nova about the tactics he uses to attract the ladies.
LAUREN » On your website, you state that women aren't looking for men who fit the 'romantic' cliche. What do you think women are looking for in a man?
I tend to somewhat disagree with the common perception that women of today are overly choosy when it comes to finding a male partner. In my experience, most women today want a man with traits like confidence, humour, a good smile and a nice appearance.
LAUREN » As a dating coach, what do you teach men about relationships with women?
In a nutshell, we teach men how to get results and make positive changes in their life in the area of dating women and relationships. We support, guide and challenge men to help them achieve successful results. During our dating workshops a wide range of topics and issues are discussed. 
These include: "how to prevent relationship pitfalls", "how to develop respect for yourself and your partner", "how to avoid conflicts and negotiate", "how to create a secure and long-lasting relationship", "how to develop trust in your partner", and much more.
At the end of it all, our main task is to make sure that we give our students a 360-degree view of what relationships can be like during both the high times and low times. Then we explain how to address and resolve each issue in order to have a fulfilling relationship with a woman.
LAUREN » What kind of men come to your workshops? And what kinds of relationships are they looking for?
Our clients have included uni students, DJs, doctors, lawyers, IT professionals, accountants and other everyday people. In addition to this, I must add that we have dealt with single, married and divorced men. These guys were of many different nationalities: Australian, Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Italian, Greek and many others.
Most of these men simply want to get out there and have enough confidence to approach and talk to as many women as they want to. Another common aspect that I have discovered with most of these men is that they would rather meet and date more than one girl at a time before finally deciding to pursue a relationship with one particular woman. So in the end, most men want to have the option of dating a few women as opposed to just dating one.
LAUREN » What's the success rate for men in your workshop?
Most men are having great success with approaching and talking to women within an hour of starting the course. For a minority it can be an intimidating process, but most often the ones that do struggle are fine soon afterwards, as they are given the tools to empower themselves and become entertaining dates and solid life partners.
I find that live demonstrations by the dating coach helps dramatically, as if it almost gives these men a formal excuse and power to approach, talk and flirt with women. Watching scenarios helps those who are nervous understand a situation and learn how to read the fragile man/woman relationship in a real-life environment.
LAUREN » Are you single? If so, do you practise what you preach?
No, I am in a relationship with a wonderful and bright girl and have been with her since we met in early 2006 in Melbourne.
LAUREN » You say that Internet dating didn't work for you. Why do you think this was the case?
Previously, Internet dating has caused a number of problems for me. First of all, it was a slow and painful process. Usually it took days if not weeks to get the girl's phone number. Then there was the whole "fake profile" issue where many people were claiming to be someone else, so there was little trust. Thirdly, the Internet is full of men on the prowl for women.
It is so much easier for a guy to ask out a girl on the date via the Internet, as he does not have to face her in real life during the conversation. I realised a long time ago that it is far more rewarding and less time-consuming for me to meet women in real life as opposed to online.
LAUREN » When men sign up to your workshop, they receive a bonus DVD featuring footage of "real-life hidden camera pick-ups of men approaching women on the street, park and coffee shops". Doesn't this present a lot of ethical concerns?
After the actual "pick-ups" the women filmed in those situations are asked to sign a release form make sure that there are no hidden surprises down the line for them. I personally think there is nothing wrong with filming a man approaching and talking to a woman. In fact, it is a great way to demonstrate what actually takes part during our programs.
LAUREN » On your website, you ask if men are "tired of dating average-looking girls" and promise that, with your help, men can attract pretty girls. That's an incredibly chauvinistic statement — is this what your workshop strategy is about?
We simply give men the freedom of choice when it comes to dating women. If they want to specifically attract "pretty girls" then after our workshop they can do just that. At the end of the day, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we all have different tastes.
Ultimately, what we do is give these men the tools and knowledge of how to go about meeting the type of women whom they find most appealing, both physically and mentally.
Part of your workshop is taking men into real situations and asking them to approach women, while you analyse the conversation. Does this generally make men more nervous (because they're being watched) or are they more confident because they know someone's in their corner?
In my experience, I have found that men usually like having a wingman around while doing the approaches. It creates that feeling of a team among the students during the workshop. Any feedback — during and after the approach — is always welcomed because these men have signed up for a course to help address their issues when it comes to meeting and dating women.
After the approach (especially if it went well) I take time to praise the men and let them know what I thought was great and how they can improve for the next approach. It is very rewarding.
LAUREN » In the film, Definitely, Maybe, the character April tells Will that there's no such thing as the right person, just the right time for relationships. What do you think?
In my opinion, people are attracted to certain physical and character traits in another person. These traits extend to our values, goals and even dreams. The timing can also play a big part in this as quite often people will not get into relationships because of their work, study or other circumstances surrounding their life.
However, I highly doubt that a woman will change her feelings for a guy one, two or even 12 months down the track just because of the time factor. So in the end, it is a mixture of things that ultimately influences this process.
LAUREN » In the film, Will dates three very different women over the course of about 10 years. He's attracted to them for very different reasons, and they're attracted to him for various reasons. Is it difficult to dispense dating advice when every woman and man is completely different?
I would not say it is difficult, a very similar approach is used to identify what everyone wants out of the dating workshop. We find out who the student is and what he is all about. Then we address his needs and wants. Then a tailored program begins to address all the necessary points that the student has mentioned. A step-by-step approach ensures that we do our best to help.
Most men who take the dating workshop just simply want to develop strong self-confidence when speaking with women and in other aspects of their life. They want to know exactly what to say during the conversation, and how to go about getting the woman's contact details and leave a long-lasting, favourable impression!
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